You sound pretty healthy - good relationship, positive, clearly talented as a writer. I would say you succeeded at being happy in spite of these early experiences. It's something to pat yourself on the back about! Many people would feel that this allows them to have a chip on their shoulder. I think if you see yourself as a survivor, the reframe might help? I'm sure there is some processing time that is needed to sort of go back through memories with this new understanding of how he views women.